went out on a date with DEAR. =)

our offical first date. LOL.

first time we met as friends for a movie.

second time we met to drink with sis.

third time we met to dinner, after swim with sis.

forth time was he rush over, i was in a horrible mood. thanks to SOMEONE.
but DEAR's accompany was great & cheered me up. =)

ytd was the first time we met ; for a date - dinner at pastamania, movie, den he came over to my hse.

mummmy was quite pleased with him. not bad first impression of him. happy. =)

sat we'll be going out tgt. =) DEAR will be coming over to my hse for a meal with mummy. =)

looking forward to it la. =)

i happier by the day...........

why are you behaving this way?

i found a new LOVE. you should be happy for me. like what you used to say, rmb? you wished me all the best, you told me you were not the right one for me.

now? i've found a new LOVE. yet you sms-ed me so much. what i cheated your feelings ; make you clung on.

who was the one who wanted a breakup? who wished me all the best? who told me that he cannot give me future, ask me to carry on my life w/o him?


my DEAR loves me. i dunno how much. but i know he LOVES himself, in order to have the right to love me.

how bout you? you dun even know how to love yourself. how can I trust you to love me?

you did me wrong before ; yet i forgave you. & kept it to myself since that time till now.

i asked myself, why did I even forgive you in the first place?

i had an answer - I love you more then you love me at that point of time.

im not the person i used to be alr.

now?

i wanna carry on.

i wanna give myself ; the person who is capable of loving me ; giving me happiness a chance.

im in new LOVE.

thanks DEAR. =)


a new start ; a new beginning for ME ; TOGETHER, the TWO of us. =)

on dental mc.

one week.

pain. almost dead.

minor surgery.

sucks.

i miss HIM. i miss HIM. i miss HIM.

can I know what you're thinking?

you say wanna patch. but? i dunno.

it's not the same anymore, you know I know.

yes, I still love you. you say you love me still, but you're digging the past & talking about it.

I missed the past. the good times we've spent tgt, so do you.


are we able to start afresh still?


i really still do love you, how about you? can you tell me what's in your mind?

my life - sucks.

met up with M. realise still love him, he claimes he stil love me too. BUT. he keep on insisted he cannot give me happiness - financially. we did things like we used to.

met up with R also. realise we click on more then we used to be like couples. we did what couple did that day - i meant holding hands, he hugged me throughout the movie. BUT, there's no more love feel between me & him.

i miss A. though I know it's impossible between the two of us. yes I admit I've a crush on him. but it's only as simple as a crush. he still love his ex. so do I. i keep on telling myself, it's only a crush. i only liked him coz he was there for me when im at my lowest point of time in life, when i needed accompany. we shared alot. heart to heart talks.

have been drinking alot recently. just to forget these issues. im just running away, i know.........

i insisted i do not need any guys in my life anymore, or mayb for the time being.


but, deep down inside my heart, i know, it's not possible.


my heart is so fragile & vulnerable now.


im trying my best to forget these fellas, wanting to be friends only, as simple as friends...

M as someone who can slack, R to accompany me as a big brother & A as a drinking kaki, a movie partner.


i miss my old self, the old confident Belinda.


can anyone help me?

yes, i may look super happy, while drinking, slacking & chilling.

but deep down inside, i believe, only my sisters would understand what Im going thru.

how i wish i could drink myself dead. i just dun wanna face the music reality.